Discover Practical Tips for Understanding your Emotions.

What’s Your WHY?

My grief journey began 10 years ago when my mother suddenly died from a heart attack. One phone call from my dad and my life was blasted into a direction I didn’t want to go. Shock took over my body for the next 2-3 months. My physical body was moving but nothing was registering within. I didn’t eat for the first week and lived off shots of vodka. I vividly remember looking in the mirror and wondering how I am still standing after a week of no food or water. I remember staring into the mirror and looking for answers, screaming for help but the only thing I found was emptiness. For the next 2 months, I drank vodka for breakfast and then drank massive quantities of any type of alcohol I could get my hands on for dinner. When I started blacking out and throwing up on myself, I knew right then, I needed help. I figured I would start with an individual therapist. When I told her I was drinking 12 drinks a day, her jaw dropped. What’s the big deal lady? That was a lie anyway…it was way more than 12 drinks a day. She wanted me to focus on my alcohol intake before I focused on my grief. This made me angry. Ma’am, I came here to get help for my mother who just died, I don’t need a lecture about my alcohol intake! She slowly helped me incorporate healthier coping strategies like taking walks and reading books. But I was still angry. She was older than me, and her parents were alive. How was she possibly going to help me when she doesn’t understand this excruciating pain??? After that, I joined the local Grief Support Group at Hospice because I needed for find someone who understood what grief feels like. I needed to find someone who could understand how lonely and crazy and lost and empty I felt. And that is where my road to resilience began, in a hospice support group filled with people 30-50 years older than me. But that is a story for another day. They were in pain too and that is all that matter. I no longer felt alone.
I hope you find the same comfort and understanding while reading the stories on this page. You are not alone. There is someone out there that understands the pain you have been through. Once you are able to verbalize your pain, it will become your POWER.