How to Recognize Depression in a loved one and When to seek help

Depression affects millions of people worldwide, yet many suffer in silence, unaware that what they’re experiencing is a treatable medical condition. Learning about the signs and symptoms of depression is the first step towards helping someone you care about heal. It might even save a loved one’s life. J.K. Rowling, the famous author of Harry Potter, described depression as “it’s not sadness, It’s that cold absence of feeling.” She continues, “that really hollowed-out feeling.” 

Common Signs and Symptoms

Depression looks different in each person. Which is very confusing. Depression could look like Robin Williams, Dwayne Johnson, Jim Carrey or Kristen Bell; comical, entertaining, and successful. All of these celebrities appear to always be happy and all four celebrities have publicly admitted to struggling with depression. Some people hide their depression well while some people are easy to spot.

Either way, learning about the common symptoms could help you realize that a loved one is struggling more than you thought.

How a Depressed person feels:

• Persistent sadness or emptiness that doesn’t seem to lift– crying over things you believe arent that big of a deal.
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed– a depressed person will avoid interactions with people. If your loved one has discontinued hobbies that you thought they loved, they may be struggling.
• Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism about the future
• Irritability, frustration, or restlessness, even over small matters
• Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, or fixating on past failures
• Thoughts of death or suicide– Listen up everyone!! People don’t just willingly divulge this information. It’s not a great conversation starter. If you notice any of the listed symptoms, you have to ask if they have thought about hurting themselves. People who have thought of suicide will answer honestly because they really want help. If they haven’t thought of it, they will be honest about it. People who say they are suicidal aren’t just saying it “for attention”.

The body’s reaction to Depression:

• Sleep disturbances – either insomnia or oversleeping- Ask them a simple question like: “Have you been able to sleep lately?” or “Are you getting enough rest?”
• Changes in appetite or weight – significant weight loss or gain- this will be easy to see. Instead of “you are too skinny” say something like: “I noticed a change in your weight, are you feeling okay?”.
• Fatigue and decreased energy – feeling tired even after rest- a depressed person will move slower than most, not have the energy to meet you for lunch, or often mention that they are “too tired” to interact
• Moving or speaking more slowly than usual– same as above. If you notice a change in a loved one’s energy, they may be depressed. If your loved one used to love coming over or meeting you at a restaurant, but lately they are telling you that they are just going to go home, they might be depressed. Frequently making excuses about why they can’t meet you could also be a sign of depression.
• Unexplained physical problems like headaches or back pain

Depression effects the Thought Process too:

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions– Ex. trouble completing a task or not caring when asked what they want to do.
• Memory problems and trouble recalling information– The famous “I dont know” or “Im not sure”. Depressed people are using all their energy just to get by, they arent going to remember things unless it has to do with survival.
• Trouble thinking clearly or experiencing “brain fog”– the person who “cant think right now”
• Negative thought patterns that are hard to control– speaking negatively about themselves

Is it Time for a Professional?

Depression isn’t something you can simply “snap out of” or overcome through willpower alone. Consider seeking professional help if:

• You or a loved one have felt bad for more than two weeks
• You or a loved one has a hard time with daily tasks. General hygiene is usually the first to go when someone starts feeling depressed. Other examples include change in work ethic and personal relationships.
• You or a loved one needs to use alcohol or drugs to numb feelings. Most people like to occasionally “take the edge off”. However, if you notice someone drinking excessively (more than 3-4 drinks at a time and often), they are trying to number intense pain.
• You or your loved one is having thoughts of harming yourself– As mentioned above, your loved one isnt going to willingly spark a conversation about their suicidal thoughts. If you notice a combination of any of the signs and symptoms above, simply ASK if they are having thoughts of harming themselves. Here is a list of questions to ask if your loved one answered “yes” to thoughts of suicide: ASQ Screening Tool – National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH). These questions are going to be hard for you to ask but it will be worth it.

Support your Loved One

If someone you care about is exhibiting the above signs or symptoms:

• Listen without judgment- do not give advice, or tell them to “look on the bright side”
• Encourage them to seek professional help- help them look for a local agency that is accepting new clients and accepts their insurance. Sit with them while they make the call. Follow-up and ask if they have found a therapist.
• Offer practical support with daily tasks-
• Take care of your own mental health while supporting them- It is hard to give someone time and energy when you dont have enough energy for yourself.

Circumstances that Trigger Depression:

Several life events can increase the chance of developing depression:

• Family history of depression- sometimes depression is genetic
• Major life changes, trauma, or stress- Ex. divorce, job loss, new baby, physical or sexual assault, intense pressure from job
• Certain physical illnesses and medications- receiving a new physical diagnosis, living with a disability, becoming injured and experiencing limited mobility
• Personal history of other mental health disorders- Another mental health diagnosis could cause shame and embarrassment which leads to depression.

Depression Is Treatable

The good news is that depression is one of the most treatable mental health conditions. Effective treatments include:

• Psychotherapy (talk therapy)
• Medication (antidepressants)
• Lifestyle changes (exercise, sleep hygiene, nutrition)
• Support groups
• Alternative therapies (mindfulness, meditation)

Conclusion

Depression is a serious but treatable condition. Recognizing its signs and symptoms is crucial for early intervention. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, remember that seeking help is a sign of courage and strength, not weakness. Understand that if you take one extra step by asking if someone is okay, it might change their whole outlook on life. Helping others will always benefit you in the end and good things will come your way. There is a path to a fuller, more joyful life and there are professionals that can help you find the way.

Also, just because someone displays any combination of the signs and symptoms above DOES NOT mean they are depressed. Their emotions, physical ailments or thought process maybe due to the 50,000 other things going on in this world. The only way you are going to know if your loved one is struggling is by ASKING!!!! Not assuming or creating scenarios in your head as to why they are acting a certain way. Simply JUST ASK. Thats it. Just ask if they are okay.

---

Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

If you’re experiencing thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-8255, available 24 hours everyday.–

Is someone you love displaying any signs or symptoms from above? Comment below for additional guidance and support.